The End's Beginning DFA 21
by Dyna Dee
Summary: Heero reflects on the disquieting days following the end of the war, and his continuing concern for his best friend.
1. Default Chapter

The End's Beginning, DFA 21

By: Dyna Dee

Part 1

Warning: angst

It wasn't the sound of the door opening that caused Heero to turn from his laptop and the homework assignment he had been working on for the last hour, it was the resounding slam of the door that was rendered quite forcibly by his friend and roomate. Duo didn't even glance at him, but mumbled something unintelligible as he shuffled despondently over to his bed, un-slung his black backpack from off his shoulder, and tossed it unceremoniously onto the bottom of his bed. He then dramatically threw his entire body onto the mattress, clutching his pillow with both arms to his head and chest. It was obvious that Duo was having yet another bad day. And to top that off, it was Wednesday, meaning that he'd been to the expensive shrink the government was paying to help put the teenage patriot/terrorists' minds back to rights. 

"You alright?" he asked with concern to his unmoving friend on the bed.

"Leave me alone," came the petulant reply.

The boy who'd remained unnamed to the world to this point, but hailed by the majority of the population and news services as the "Bravest Man Alive", and the "The Gundam Pilot Who Saved the World", hesitated for a moment before he cautiously asked the question he deemed necessary. "Have you been taking your medication?"

"Go to hell, Heero," was his angry answer a moment before the American lifted his head, removed the pillow from underneath it, and then forcefully brought it over his head and covered it completely, signaling the end of the limited conversation. The Japanese boy frowned as he watched Duo for a moment longer, then silently sighed and turned back to his history assignment. 

His fingers paused on the keyboard as his mind reflected that it was now two very long months since the battle with OZ and White Fang had ended, and the New World Government was still in the process of being formed. His thoughts went back to the end of the war and marking the beginning of their current lives. The five Gundams touched down on Earth after the battle near Treize's former compound in Luxembourg shortly after the portion of Libra had been destroyed and they were being hailed by the media and politicians as the champions of Earth and of the Space Colonies. The four pilots followed with deep concern after the Sandrock pilot as he was whisked off by an ambulance to a hospital for his wounds gained on the Libra. 

Hours after Quatre's surgery, and as they stood in the blond pilot's hospital room, the five teen pilots found themselves surrounded by government officials and, in front of most of the Maguanacs, they were officially placed into protective custody. Une and those in temporary authority for the new government that were present in the room were quick to assure the pilots that they were not being incarcerated, but because they were juveniles who also happened to be soldiers with crimes against Earth, and with the government still greatly fractioned, they needed time to decide on what to do with five boy terrorists who just happened to have saved the Earth and the millions of people on it.

Heero stood in front of the other four in a pose of protectiveness. He had been their leader in so many ways, and now with a quick eye exchange and in a silent agreement, they turned to him to make the decision that would affect their very lives. His eyes paused on Quatre, their strategist, laying in the hospital looking young, small and pale, who gave him a slight nod of his head. Heero nodded gravely in return and turned to face those hovering, waiting for their response. He then gave his word that they would comply and he would not attempt an escape until a decision was made. The others signaled their agreement, though a bit more on the reluctant side.

Within days the pilots were sequestered in Saudi Arabia at the large Winner Estate in the western metropolis of Jiddah, which sat on the shores of the Red Sea. They were promptly asked to subject themselves to medical and psychological evaluations of which none of the pilots had been pleased about. All but one pilot grudgingly submitted to the requested exams and tests, and sitting at his desk and thinking about those tense days, now two months past, Heero's hands went still on his keyboard as his mind went back to that fateful day when things began to change for Duo. 

It had been their third day at the estate, and all the pilots were on edge emotionally and physically as a decision regarding their fate hung in the air like the dark, heavy and moist fog that blanketed the seaside city for the previous two days. Duo had adamantly refused to see the doctors, stating he had his reasons. They all knew he didn't trust them, though no one really understood why, and no amount of persuading, bribing, or badgering seemed to have any effect on the long-haired boy. Duo responded to their attempts to lure him into the study, deemed the exam room, by doing what he did best; he ran and hid from them. Knowing he wouldn't leave the estate, he'd given his word after all, it still took the other four pilots a day and a half to find their elusive friend who had carefully hidden himself away on the sprawling estate situated on the outskirts of the large city. In the end, it was his healthy appetite and lack of food that tripped him up.

At the back of the compound was a cold-storage house where much of the household food was stored, and it was there that a trap was laid for the American. It was early in the hot afternoon when he finally was driven out of his hiding place by his hunger. Clinging to the edges of the buildings to approach the door to the storage house, Duo hid within the shadows and bushes as much as possible. He watched earlier as a maid from the main house had entered the small building and came out with a large armful of food for the next meal's preparation. The door was unlocked, as was much of the Winner household in a display of trust in their employees and guests. Duo slipped into the dark, cool, air conditioned storage room with a grin of triumph on his face as he reached back and let his hand search the wall for a light switch to the right of the door. He found it and flipped it on, leaving his eyes struggling to adjust from the dark to the light. It was then that he was tackled. Unbeknownst to him, Heero had been laying in wait for such a moment.

The boy termed the perfect soldier had originally thought that catching Duo off-guard was the best plan for capture. However, he found himself quite surprised at having his hands full as he struggled to hold down his friend's furiously un-cooperating body until the other three jumped in to help him.

"Calm down, Duo. We're not going to hurt you." Trowa spoke calmly, trying to ease the mind of the struggling and panicked boy beneath their hands. In the end, it took all four of them to lift and carry their loudly protesting and thrashing friend, howling curses and threats as they entered the main house where they immediately went to the study, where the doctors had examined the rest of them.

While Rashid called the doctors with news that the elusive teen was being held for the examination, the four boys tried to reason with the still fuming and protesting pilot.

By the time Sally and her associate entered the den, they found Duo Maxwell stripped down to his boxers and socks and tied firmly down into a chair in the middle of the room.....gagged. His eyes, though, spoke volumes. He glared balefully at the two newcomers as they entered the room, his thin chest heaving with a mixture of anger, anxiety and exhaustion. The other four teens sat sprawled out in chairs or on the floor also breathing heavily as if they'd been in a taxing battle.

Sally looked to the four. "Is this really necessary?" she asked, obviously disapproving as she nodded toward the bound and gagged boy, still glaring daggers at her.

"Yes!"

"Definitely."

"Absolutely!"

"Hai." All four answered simultaneously. 

Sally frowned and approached the obviously angry boy before her. "Now Duo," she began, her voice soft and gently chastising. "You know we're not going to hurt you. There's no need for this...antagonism because you have to have a checkup."

The blue/violet eyes narrowed and an invisible aura of danger seemed to emanate from him. He then attempted to reply through the gag, and though the words were muffled, the meaning of his garbled language was clear, causing Sally to blush.

Heero stood from his chair behind the captive boy's position and approached his bound friend. With a quick movement of his hand, he slapped the back of the braided head in a reprimand. "Behave," he ordered in a gruff commanding voice.

Duo turned his head and with fiercely angry eyes glared at his friend.

"It's not Sally's fault." Heero went on to explain to him, their eyes locking. "She's only doing her job. Let her."

It took several minutes, but eventually the American relaxed his glare and looked forward, his eyes to the floor and his shoulders slumped a fraction in defeat. The other pilots in the room sighed with relief as they recognized his acquiescence.

"Do what you can with him still tied down." Heero suggested to the doctor they had relied on and grown to trust during the war.

"Can we at least get rid of the gag?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Can we, Duo?" Heero peered over his friend's shoulder to look at him. He braided teen slowly nodded.

The Wing pilot then began to untie the knotted curtain sash from around his friend's head. Some of the boy's long hair had gotten tangled in the knot and he grunted and winced in pain several times as his hair was pulled in the process of untying it. When the gag was finally removed, his only vocal complaint was, "Dammit Heero, that hurt!"

Sally set to work, opening her black bag, she reached in and removed her instruments. Carefully, but with practiced ease, she attached several probes to the boy's thin but muscled chest, then attached the wires to a hand held sensor reader that relayed the boy's vitals. She spoke the results to her companion, who entered the information into his hand held computer.

Duo, for his part, obediently followed her request to tilt his head, take a deep breath, cough, open his mouth, lookup, down., etc. His legs were untied as she checked his reflexes. As the braided boy seemed to be cooperating, she requested the ropes that held his arms and torso to the chair be removed.

"Take the blood samples first." Heero replied knowingly.

Duo's eyes widened. "No way!" he exclaimed with a bit of panic in his voice.

"I'm afraid it's necessary, Duo, to ascertain if you're healthy." Sally said calmly but was clearly startled by the boy's reaction.

The Deathscythe pilot began to struggle against the ropes that held his forearms securely against the arms of the chair. "No, I don't give my permission. You can't do it without my permission, can you?" Panic edged his voice and filled his eyes.

"Calm down Duo." Quatre approached with the intention to soothe his comrade. "We've all had the tests. Sally just puts in one needle and takes several vials of blood for testing. It doesn't hurt, I promise."

"I...don't... care," Duo lashed out still struggling to free himself from his restraints. "I don't want it done."

The argument went on for several minutes with the others joining in before Heero took over. "Enough!" he shouted, startling everyone present. "Sally, does he really need to have this done?" He looked to the patient but slightly flustered woman with her long braids falling casually over her shoulders and a small kit in her hands that she used for the drawing of blood.

"Yes, it's absolutely necessary. And, Duo?" The braided boy looked up with a face full of loathing to meet her eyes. "Because of your age and the fact that you are now a ward of the Sanq Kingdom, as are all of you, your permission isn't required." She detected the shocked look on the boy's face and continued to explain. "A full physical was requested by the temporary government, and permission was granted for tests to be taken to determine the state of your physical and mental health. I don't need your permission, but I would like your cooperation. Everything will go much more smoothly if you would choose to cooperate."

"When hell freezes over," he snarled, earning him another slap on the head from the his best friend.

"Watch your language." Heero warned.

"I hate you...all of you." Duo ground out as he furiously wrested his arms against his bonds.

"Duo." Sally knelt down on her knees to look into the panicked eyes. "You've had shots before, why does this bother you so much?"

"I only got shots when I was incapacitated," he replied darkly.

"I promise, it doesn't feel like more than a pinch." After a moment of seeing the boy not placated, she sighed and opened the small kit. She took out the long piece of rubber and quickly tied it around Duo's arm above his elbow, then with two fingers found the vein she needed in the bend of his elbow. She could feel Duo's piercing eyes on her as she pulled out the extracting syringe and took the protective cap off the top. That movement triggered something within the boy from L-2 that caused him to panic further, for it was then that Duo suddenly moved, throwing his chair forcefully to the side and knocking it down, along with his body trapped in it, in an obvious attempt to break the wooden chair to gain his freedom. Unfortunately for him, the Winner family only bought the best quality of furniture, so a slight creak of the solid wood was his only reward. The other pilots jumped at the movement and quickly approached the chair only to have Heero wave them back as he reached down for the still secured, but frantically struggling boy.

"Maxwell, you big baby. Hold still," Wufei ordered, having reached the limit of his patience with his American friend.

"Go to hell, Wufei," Duo shouted back, ignoring all of their pleas and orders to calm down, he continued to struggle against his bonds, kick at them with his free legs, and swear profusely at them. With a huff, the Chinese boy leaned forward and pinched the area of Duo's neck that momentarily restricted the blood flow to his brain, causing the boy in the fallen chair to stiffen slightly before his eyes closed and he slumped into unconsciousness.

"Was that absolutely necessary?" Sally demanded of him. "I thought you guys liked each other," she said as she felt the inside of Duo's arm once again for a good vein. Finding it, she slid the needle under his skin and into it , then attached the vial to the open end. Releasing the elastic band still affixed to the relaxed arm, she nodded in satisfaction as the unconscious teen's blood flowed easily into the clear vial.

"We like each other just fine," Heero answered for them all. "But Duo does have a tendency to...." He paused to pick the correct word. 

Wufei supplied his version of the word Heero was seeking. "Over react," he said looking down on the process of taking Duo's blood.

"Be emotional." Quatre added quietly.

"Throw temper tantrums." Trowa supplied yet another descriptive word. 

Heero shut his mouth at his friends' descriptions and nodded his agreement at their assessment.

"How long will he be out?" Sally asked, looking to Wufei.

"About five minutes, that is if he doesn't fall into a regular pattern of sleep. I'd finish your exam before then as he'll be ripping mad when he comes to," he warned with a frown, just now thinking about the consequences of their actions towards the human Tasmanian Devil.

TBC


	2. End's 2

Disclaimer: I don't own nor profit from writing about the GW boys and their misadventures.

The End's Beginning 

By: Dyna Dee

Part 2

Warning: angst

As Heero now remembered, Wufei's prediction came partially true. When Duo awoke in his own room and in his bed, it was three hours after Wufei had knocked him out so that Sally could finish her medical exam of the uncooperative Deathscythe pilot. Everyone in the mansion knew the precise moment Duo woke as the sounds of furniture being smashed against the floor and walls of his room reverberated throughout the large structure. 

Quatre raced upstairs, gripping his healing side, and was closely followed by Trowa, Wufei, and Rashid. They were met by Heero who stood in front of Duo's bedroom door in a stance of challenge. They all flinched as something hit the door behind him and the sound of breaking glass was clear to them all. Quatre moved to pass by Heero and take hold of the door knob.

"No, leave him be," Heero told the Arabian in an authoritative manner as he took hold of his upper arm to stop him.

"It's not okay that he's destroying the room, Heero," Quatre said, frowning at the Japanese boy. "This is my house and I refuse to let Duo destroy it in one of his temper tantrums."

"Would you rather he take it out on one of your hired help, an unsuspecting maid, or one of the men set to guard us?" he asked, frowning fiercely.

"He wouldn't," Quatre answered with a shaky confidence.

"Listen to him," Heero demanded, motioning his head towards the door behind him. Five sets of ears tuned into the sounds coming from the other side of the door. Grunts of exertion were heard as a prelude to the breaking of each article of furniture that succumbed to Shinigami's anger. A stream of muffled curses followed. "Duo's more pissed off than I've ever seen him before." Heero looked worried.

"By Nataku, it was just a check up," Wufei declared disgustedly, his fists planted on his hips.

Heero shook his head. "Something else is going on with him. In the few days we've been here has anyone seen Duo crack a joke, pull a prank, or even laugh?"

All present thought for a moment then shook their heads. 

"I think under the present circumstances and stress we're all feeling, that we might have over done it this time," the Wing pilot stated looking worriedly at the door and they all flinched again as yet another crash sounded, this time it sounded like a mirror breaking. Quatre winced and Heero continued. "I think we should let him get this anger out of his system with inanimate objects and then we'll deal with him once he's calmed down."

"Master Quatre." Rashid stepped forward. "Would you like me to put a stop to this?"

CRASH

BANG

Quatre put his hand up to halt the tall Maguanac. "No, thank you Rashid. Heero's right. We'll deal with Duo once he's exhausted himself and his anger has abated." The large man nodded and stepped back to wait.

They all stood in the hallway, clustered near the bedroom door, and waited another five minutes until the room finally became silent. Ten more minutes passed before Trowa picked the lock and they entered into the room that could only be viewed now as a war zone. Heero led the way, and his eyes widened at the mass destruction laid out before them. The Deathscythe pilot had been quite thorough in venting his rage. Every piece of furniture lay on the floor in bits and pieces. Lamps and mirrors as well as the bedroom windows were smashed. The blankets that had once covered the bed were now shredded and on the floor. The inside of the feather pillows lay scattered about the room, and the mattress on the bed was cut with several deep gashes. The room had definitely been hit by the angry wrath of Duo's alter ego, Shinigami.

"By Allah!" Quatre whispered, his face reflected his horror at the sight of the room's complete destruction. A hiss and a quick intake of air was the only audible reaction from the other two pilots standing behind him.

"Where is Master Duo?" Rashid asked with a severe, disapproving frown.

"The water is running in the bathroom," Heero said as he walked over the broken glass and splintered wood up to the bed and examined the ripped mattress. The others watched as he picked up a large jagged splinter of glass and examined it and then looked back at the mattress. He then walked about the room examining the floor, the large shard still in his hand.

"What are you looking for Heero?" Wufei asked caustically. "Evidence that Duo did this? Che!" he snorted and rolled his eyes.

"No," Heero answered, still absorbed in his task. "Evidence as to how badly he's hurt." He held up the piece of glass. "There's blood on the shard, mattress, and floor."

With that statement, Quatre moved without hesitation to the bathroom door and, purposely neglecting to knock, he cautiously opened it and entered. "Duo!" he exclaimed sharply, bringing the others to follow quickly behind him.

A shudder rippled through the former Wing pilot as he still, two months later, vividly recalled the scene in the bathroom. Removing his hands completely from his keyboard, he rested his head in his hands as the memory returned. In his mind, he could still smell the coppery scent of Duo's blood that permeated the bathroom. 

The four pilots and Rashid stared in shock at the red tinted water that enveloped their friend. A pale, stunned face turned lethargically towards them. Duo's head rested against the back of the bathtub, his long, loose mane of tangled hair was flung over the top edge of the tub, a stark contrast to the white porcelain he lay against. His eyes seemed glazed and he looked to be in a numb daze.

"Get out." He finally spoke in reaction to their presence in the bathroom, his voice sounding tired and apathetic. He then closed his eyes, apparently to shut them out.

"I don't think so." Wufei boldly stepped forward and plunged his hands into the tainted water and searched for a moment. He then lifted both of Duo's wrists which were caught up in his hands. The action seemed to bring the injured boy back to himself and out of his cathartic state.

"What the hell are you doing? Get out of here!" Duo shouted as he struggled against Wufei's grip in alarm.

The Chinese boy studied his friend's wrists and felt a surge of relief to see them unblemished. His brows furrowed into a look of displeasure as drops of blood oozed from the pale fisted hands.

"Did he...?" Trowa began to ask from behind them, his voice laced with worry.

"No!" Wufei answered quickly, cutting off the rest of the question.

Duo's eyes widened in hurt at the realization of what the other's had assumed. "You ...you thought I tried to kill myself?" he asked in shocked disbelief.

"It was a logical conclusion considering your behavior and all the blood." Heero defended their reasoning.

"You guys betrayed me. You let her touch me," the teen in the bath retorted angrily in accusation of their behavior towards him that day.

"She's a doctor, Duo. It was her job." Quatre spoke up in a short, unhappy tone as he moved to the front of the bath and released the plug while Wufei pulled the gasping and reluctant boy to his feet. The other four viewed the visible damage to the pale-skinned body before them, various sized cuts on his arms, hands, and side that oozed water-diluted blood from their opening. And as the water drained out from the tub, they could see their friend balanced on the sides of his feet as a stream of blood flowed from the deep cuts on the souls of his feet, downward towards the drain.

They each concluded that, in his berserker rage, the boy from L-2 had caused himself several types of wounds; first, cutting his hands while wielding the large piece of broken glass like a knife against the mattress and pillows, and then some of the flying glass from the thrown objects had evidently hit him, causing cuts from their impact on his bare skin. And lastly, the broken fragments of glass and splintered wood on the floor had further sliced through the soles of his feet as he moved about the room in his bare feet to destroy the entire room's contents. It appeared that, after his rage was spent, Duo had made his way to the attached bathroom and, still clothed in his boxers, probably unable to remove them with his injuries, climbed into the warm bath water.

"Call Sally." Quatre looked back at Rashid standing large in the open doorway.

"No!" Duo shouted in an adamant voice, his eyes displaying a tinge of panic.

"You're going to need stitches." Wufei frowned at the injured boy, not comprehending his dislike, or was it fear of the doctor.

"You guys have stitched me up before," Duo insisted. "You can do it now."

"Well, Duo." Trowa spoke up for the first time with a look that clearly spoke of his disapproval of the wet and bleeding boy. "We're not exactly pleased with your performance today. You forget that you did this to yourself, your wounds are not from an enemy. You alone caused these stupid, useless injuries to your body by letting your temper get the best of you." Though tempered, Trowa's voice held in it a cold, stone anger as he continued. "You destroyed your room in which nothing belonged to you, but to Quatre. You owe him an apology for that, and you owe the rest of us one for acting like a spoiled child who scared us sick." His eyes bore challengingly into the American's as he stood looking pathetic, wet, and bleeding before them in the bathtub.

Duo had glanced aside at Trowa as he began to chastize to him, but then quickly looked away, not meeting any of their gazes.

"You know I'll be sorry tomorrow," he said quietly, still feeling the remnants of anger from his friends' earlier betrayal.

"Maybe that's not good enough," the Heavyarms pilot answered shortly, then abruptly turning, he left the room.

Quatre looked the most surprised of the remaining four at his friend's harsh words to Duo, but then he recovered and looked at the American. "He's right. I know, as usual, you'll feel true remorse tomorrow, but today is when you did this damage to the room and to yourself, and it is today that you need to apologize."

"It'll be more sincere tomorrow," the braided boy said sheepishly, sounding totally unrepentant.

Quatre studied his friend for a moment. "Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and followed after Trowa.

Heero put his hands on his hips. "Well?" he asked with a look of impatience on his face.

Duo looked down at the pinkish stream of water as the last remains of his bath slowly made its way towards the drain from his feet. "Sorry," he whispered.

Heero, unsatisfied with the trite attempt at apologizing, merely sighed and left.

After a moment of heavy silence, the injured boy also sighed and looked aside to the last person in the room, the one standing to his side and still holding his wrists. "Just help me get out of here Wufei and I'll take care of myself," Duo said, resigned to being left alone. He knew he'd disappointed his friends yet again, but was at a loss as to how to patch it up, and right now, he really had a lack of desire to do anything but sleep.

"Sit on the edge." The Chinese boy directed him while letting go of his wrists and moved his hands to Duo's elbow to help guide him down. 

The American cautiously did as he was told and sat on the cold edge of the bathtub, glad to have the stress off of his wounded feet. He felt a large soft towel wrap around his shoulders. Another went around his waist as Wufei directed him to remove his sodden boxers. With his support, holding him so he didn't slip against the slippery surface, Duo managed to wiggle out of the wet cotton and secured the oversized towel around his waist. 

"You are one messed up brat," Wufei murmured as he pulled the long hair out and over the towel on his shoulders.

The injured boy nodded, accepting his friend's assessment, and watched curiously as Wufei wrapped another towel around his feet, binding them together. Then suddenly, he was scooped up into strong arms and found himself being carried out of the bathroom. Wufei carefully dodged the debris all over the floor of his bedroom as he made his way through the demolished room and exited the door into the hallway. Turning to his left, he moved down the long corridor and opened the door to enter his own pristine room. It was an awkward maneuver, but while still holding onto the wounded boy, Wufei managed to snag a towel from his own bathroom and lay it out on the bed before setting Duo down onto it.

The large blue/violet eyes looked up in confusion. "Why Wufei? Why are you helping me?"

The Chinese pilot didn't answer immediately, but went to his bathroom and returned with a small first aid kit. Duo remained silent as he waited for an answer. Sitting on the edge of his bed, onyx eyes met amethyst. "Because you helped me not so long ago when I needed someone to reach out to, and you're my friend, Duo, and you're in pain." He pointed to the middle of Duo's bare chest. "In here." He lowered his eyes as he confessed, "I understand your fear and pain, I feel it too."

The long haired American looked at his Chinese friend in slight astonishment, then sobered and huffed with some degree of disbelief. "What are you afraid of, Wufei? I'm sure it's not the same fear as mine."

The black haired teen looked away and opened the first aid kit. "It might not be the same, but that doesn't diminish the fact that I can understand your fear, having felt it myself." He paused for a moment and then looked pointedly into the American's questioning eyes. "I suppose I fear the future." He then focused on the first aid kit as he took out a cotton ball and placed against the newly opened bottle of alcohol. "Like you and the others, I don't know what next week will bring, or for that matter, tomorrow." He continued on, his eyes focused on his task, his voice soft and even. "How will the new government deal with us? How will future generations view us? As freedom fighters for the colonies, or as fanatical zealots who were self-serving juvenile delinquents?" He lifted his head and showed his friend the turmoil reflected in his troubled eyes. His voice, as he continued, was now a bit strained with held-back emotions. "A whole colony died for me, Duo." His voice cracked a bit with repressed emotions. "They died so that I would be free to fight on. They believed I would do what was right." 

He paused for a moment and Duo sensed there was more to come. Wufei looked up at him, their eyes meeting, and the American saw self-doubt and recrimination in his friend's face. "I don't know if I can ever be worthy of their sacrifice, especially when I question my own actions." His voice lowered as if he was fearful to speak the next words. 

"I fear I killed Treize only because he allowed me to, in order to fulfill his own idea of destiny, and not necessarily as an act of one soldier fighting for a just cause against an opponent. But by allowing me to destroy him, he sacrificed himself knowing the effect his death would have in changing the destiny of Earth and the Colonies. His death would end the war. I think he knew the war would rage on if he was still alive." He hung his head for a moment, trying to deal with the weight of his actions in a battle still so vivid in his mind. "Was I wrong, Duo? Did I make a horrible mistake by killing an honorable man?" Wufei's voice pleaded with his friend to answer the question that had been torturing him for days. "Did I shame the sacrifice of my clan only to destroy the wrong person?"

"Wufei." Duo called out his name softly, empathy etched on his face. He reached out his bloodied fingers to his friend, but stopped short and frowned at the blood on his palms. He thought for a moment how touching him, even in a gesture of comfort, would stain him. He drew his hand back, but continued to speak. "You did what you had to. There was no time in battle to analyze the situation or possible motives. You fought for the colonies, for your clan's sacrifice. You fought because Treize stood before you as an enemy. If he had ulterior motives, the blame for his death should be on his list of sins, not yours. He was not an innocent man, but a soldier who did horrible things. Remember," he looked into the onyx eyes. "It was Treize who set up Heero into killing the doves on that shuttle. He has his own sins to atone for."

The black haired boy nodded at his friend's words and bent to his self-appointed task of cleaning the blood off of the pale skin before him.

Duo hissed in sharply as the antiseptic touched the open wounds.

"Sorry." Wufei murmured in response.

"S'kay." Duo said through gritted teeth, then signed. "They're right, you know, I did this to myself, so I deserve the pain." He lay back on the pillow and closed his eyes, preparing for the coming pain. "Funny thing is," he said in a sad and hushed voice that was suddenly filled with emotion. "But the pain...feels good.....tangible and justified. How sick is that?" He ended with a tone of disgust at his spoken thoughts.

After a moment, he realized Wufei had stopped working on him, and he re-opened his eyes to see his friend watching him with a look of serious contemplation and worry.

"What are you afraid of Duo?" he asked again, his dark eyes searching Duo's own. The long haired boy wished he could follow his natural instincts to run and hide, but the other pilot, his friend, had trusted him enough to share his fear with him. How could he call himself Wufei's friend unless he showed that same trust? He'd hidden his fears so well and for so long, it was very tempting to tell someone, to speak of his fears out loud.

Then suddenly, he knew he would give into the temptation; the need was too great. He kept his eyes closed so that he wouldn't see the disgusted reaction of the other pilot at his confession. In a small, timid voice, he spoke the greatest fear of his life, his emotions rose to the surface as the words rose to his lips. "I'm afraid of so much..." His voice hitched as he internally wrestled with the emotions threatening to spill out. "But most of all, I'm afraid of being alone." His humiliation was complete when he felt a tear trickle down from his eye. He sniffed as he fought to hold back the deluge of tears that were dammed behind his closed eyelids. "Everyone I've ever cared for has left me," he continued. "And it hurts so much...*sniff*...to be alone. And now that the war is over...you guys will go on to live your lives and...I'll be left alone again."

He suddenly found himself fully engulfed by Wufei's strong arms and his reluctant tears turned into silent wracking sobs. He didn't know how long he wept, hating himself for every tear he shed, but the Chinese boy's hold on him never faltered. Suddenly, all his held-in fears came tumbling out. "What's going to happen to us Wufei? Should we trust our fates to a government. Can we run? Should we? Where would we go? Will we be hunted and hated? Will they separate us?"

"Shh, Duo. It's okay. Everything will be alright. Shh...don't cry." Wufei's words came out like a soft soothing blanket, comforting and warm. "I didn't realize." He continued, his voice sounding confused in Duo's ear. "You seemed to make friends so easily, always so confident and cocky. It's alright." He awkwardly rubbed the trembling boy's back trying to sooth his fears. "We'll find a way, and if we have to, we'll run and hide, alright? I'll go with you if you need me to."

Duo simply nodded his head at Wufei's reassurances, trying desperately to control himself. "Sorry." He sniffed, embarrassed at his sudden and overwhelming lack of control. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't seem to control my emotions lately, it's like....they're out of control."

Wufei released his friend, but stayed close as he studied the face pinched with pain, both internal and physical. "Don't be sorry." He said with a penetrating look at the other boy. "We've shared something so intensely personal to both of us, and that can only bind us more strongly as brothers."

Duo turned his wide, red-rimmed eyes to Wufei. "You don't think I'm weak?" he asked timidly, thoroughly spent from the last hour's physical and emotional strain.

"Anything but weak." Wufei managed a small smile and moved to stand. "But could you tell me why you didn't want Sally to examine you? I'd like to understand why you acted to strongly."

The Deathscythe pilot took in a deep breath and as he let it out, it was expelled in the form of a shudder. "Do you know anything about L-2?" he asked, and Wufei shook his head.

"Not much, just some of the things you've said. I know it's not a prosperous colony and that they have a lot of social problems."

Duo nodded knowingly. "There are two classes on L-2, the rich, and the poor," he began. "When I was a kid, I was not alone on the streets. The greater majority of the people on that godforsaken colony struggled from day to day to get by. I would say a good thirty percent of the total colony were homeless. Some of the lucky people on L-2 managed to eek out an existence as store owners or laborers in the few commercial businesses that struggled to prosper. The poor owners of stores that sold necessities like food and clothing could barely get by. The daily occurrence of theft by the desperately homeless of their store's goods usually drove them out of business." 

Wufei had stopped with his cleaning of Duo's wounds to concentrate on what his friend was telling him. He sat on the edge of the bed, patiently waiting for him to continue.

"Do you know what happens on a colony when over half of the people are hungry and have inadequate or no jobs other than struggling to survive each day?"

"Revolution?" Wufei guess, remembering his history lessons.

"That's what was brewing." Duo nodded thoughtfully. "The older people were sick of the struggle, the younger men and women were angry at the impossibility of improving their lives, and we, the children, knew nothing but hunger and cold. All of us had common enemies, the Alliance and the rich. Their ears must have been pretty close to the situation, probably eager informants spilled everything they knew for the kind of money they shelled out for useful information. The Alliance, with pressure from the more affluent citizens of the colony, began their pogrom against L-2's unwanted." 

Duo looked up into Wufei's face, seeing it clouded with unhappiness to hear of such a way of life. "They sent in executioners in the guise of medical people," he said in a voice strained with emotion. "At first, the older people went to the newly set up clinics, grateful for the free service, the food they were fed, and the inoculations that promised to fight against sicknesses common to the aged and homeless. It was noticed rather quickly that within a week or two of the visit and shots that the old ones began to get sick and quickly died. We might have had nothing other than our names, but the homeless were anything but stupid. The temporary clinics were soon places to be avoided at all costs." 

The braided boy snorted as his mind reflected on those dark memories. "But far be it for the government to be denied their goal." He continued as his eyes focused on nothing in particular over his friend's shoulder. "They began to send soldiers out to grab the homeless off the streets and drag them into mobile medical vans where they were given the deadly shots by so called doctors. There was panic in the streets and alleyways at the realization that there was little to no place safe to hide. My gang of kids had about ten scruffy, skinny kids. Solo was the oldest and our leader. We followed him as we fought, stole, bartered, and did whatever we could for our little hodgepodge family to survive."

Here Duo stopped as his already red-rimmed eyes filled with unshed tears. "Solo hid us and went out by himself to find food, telling us it was too dangerous for the younger and slower children. At about eight years old, I was old enough and fast enough to go, but he told me to watch over the little ones until he returned. He came back hours later without any food and in tears telling us that they had caught him. He showed us the puncture wound in his upper arm and we all huddled together and cried in fear and grief. Having heard the rumors on the streets as to what the shots did, we knew we were losing our leader, our brother and father. He died ten days later, and one by one, the other kids were also caught as hunger drove us out of our hiding spot. 

Seems the government's plan worked as over half the homeless died in a matter of months. They just jettisoned their problem of the angry homeless into space," he said in a voice and tone of someone lost in a distant, haunting memory. "I was saved by Father Maxwell when he found me alone, near starved and dirty on the church's doorstep and took me in."

He looked up, trying to shake off the bad memories. "I know Sally wouldn't hurt me, like giving me a shot like that," he confessed. "But I can't shake the fear and hate I felt as a child of doctors giving shots that killed their patients."

"I'm sorry, Duo." Wufei reached out and touch his friend's bare arm. "If I had known, if any of us had known, this afternoon could have been handled differently."

"Yeah right," the wounded boy snorted. "I could see Heero in mission mode. I was going to be examined and pricked by a needle no matter what the circumstances."

"That's not being fair." Wufei countered defensively. "Heero clearly asked Sally if it was absolutely necessary. He was not insensitive to your fear."

Duo nodded, acknowledging the facts. "Yeah, you're right." He relaxed against the pillow beneath his head once again and closed his eyes. He sighed deeply, feeling weary to the very center of his soul.

Wufei stood and looked down on the other teen. "I think you and I could use a good stiff drink before I start stitching you up. Will you be alright if I leave you for a few moments?"

"Yeah, go ahead," was the sleepy reply.

Duo watched through his thick eyelashes as his friend left the room, and he sighed again in relief. He'd shared his greatest fear and hadn't been rejected or mocked. He wiped away a rogue tear that refused to be held back and let himself relax, surrendering to the desire to sleep and, in doing so, make the world and all its heartache and problems go away for a short time. He'd only realized that he'd drifted off to sleep when he felt his shoulder being shaken.

"Here Duo. Drink this." Wufei's voice cut through his sleep fogged mind. A steady hand behind his back raised him up and the cool touch of glass on his lips warned him of the drink to come. The strong taste of whiskey met his taste buds and he swallowed carefully, but still ended up coughing from the strength and burning of the liquor going down his throat.

His eyes flew open. "Where the hell did you find hard liquor in Quatre's house?" he gasped as the coughing subsided.

"Not everyone here is of Quatre's faith." Wufei smiled and placed the cup in his now fully conscious friend's hands. "Now, drink it all and I'll wait a few minutes to let it set in before I begin."

The long haired boy dutifully complied by sipping down the amber contents as he watched Wufei take out a needle and thread and more bandages and gauze. Finishing the drink, he let the empty tumbler rest in his hand and smiled crookedly at his friend. He was getting a quick, warm buzz from the strong alcohol already. "Good stuff," he smirked. He watched as Wufei continued to move silently around the room and felt his eyes closing as weariness settled in, and without any effort on his part, he drifted into a deep sleep.

"Duo......hey Duo?" Wufei gently shook his friend. Seeing him completely out, he removed the tumbler that had held the doctored drink from Duo's slack hand. He placed it in the adjoining bathroom and moved to open his bedroom door. "Sally?" he called out.

The braided doctor entered the room, medical bag in hand and moved to study the drugged, towel clad boy on the bed as she approached him. Her eyes widened at the open and slightly bleeding wounds on his hands, feet and body. Her eyes then looked up with perplexed worry to Wufei. "He did this to himself?" she asked.

The Shenlong pilot nodded. "Inadvertently, as he destroyed his room," he answered. "He was angry at what he deemed our betrayal this afternoon." 

She sat cautiously on the edge of the bed and thoughtfully pushed the burnished brown strands of long hair from off the sleeping boy's forehead. "Why Wufei?" She looked up clearly perplexed at Duo's behavior. "Why would he act so strongly or feel that way?"

The Chinese teen took a deep breath, thinking quickly about how much he should say. Deciding, he answered her. "We are all uneasy with the situation we find ourselves in at the moment," he began. "Duo always reacts emotionally to whatever is happening, sometimes strongly. He told me he couldn't seem to control his emotions. It could be the stress we feel," he added, then turned to look at his towel clad friend as if to figure out what was wrong.

Sally waited a moment, but seeing Wufei was done with his unsatisfying explanation, she, too, turned to look at the handsome boy on the bed. "We're going to start psychological testing tomorrow," she announced and pursed her lips together as she threaded the suture needle with the special thread.

Knowing Duo was in good hands, Wufei turned and exited his room only to be met by Heero, who was still leaning against the wall close to the door, in the exact same spot he'd been in when he'd left to get the doctored drink.

"How much did you hear?" he asked the Wing pilot.

"Everything." Heero answered with a crease of worry between his pinched eyebrows. "Something's not right," he told Wufei. "He's had bouts of depression and extreme reactions in some situations, but Duo's never been this bad before. His mood swings are getting worse."

Wufei nodded in agreement, having come to the same conclusion himself. "We're all on edge wondering what's going to happen to us, but it's triggered something in Duo," he surmised and looked up into the blue eyes of the other boy. "I think it's imperative that one of us stay with him until his evaluation is over."

Hero nodded. "He'll not like it, but I agree with you." He then looked into the depths of the other pilot's eyes. "Will you really run with him if they decide against us?" he asked with serious intent.

"I told him I would, and I will if necessary," Wufei answered. "I think incarceration would destroy Duo, and I have no fondness of it myself, especially after the incident on the moon base," he replied, clearly remembering how he and Duo were almost suffocated when the oxygen was shut off in their cell.

Wing's pilot nodded. "Good," he said softly.

The two of them began to walk to the stairway at the end of the hallway. Wufei looked askance at his quiet friend. "But you won't, will you? If they decide to prosecute us, you'll stay."

Heero nodded thoughtfully. "I'll take whatever they deem is a fit punishment, if it comes to that." He replied truthfully, his voice reflecting no emotion at such an outcome. "Quatre won't run either," he added as they descended the stairs. "With his large family and business, he'll be afraid of any repercussions or retribution for his actions during the war falling needlessly onto his family in his absence if he were to flee."

They reached the bottom of the stairs before Wufei stopped to address him again. "I can't see either Duo or Trowa just standing idly by if you two were taken into custody. I don't know if I could either," he said in all honestly. The five of them had bonded together in a brotherhood through their shared experiences during the war. They had fought together, patched each other up, struggled, suffered, and sought comfort together from the pain, both physical and emotional, and from the nightmares that plagued all of them.

Heero merely shrugged at his comment. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see what develops." 

Wufei sighed yet again. "This is....difficult, not knowing, and not having any control over our futures, especially after the way we've been living."

Heero gave him a penetrating look. "We knew the risks when we accepted the responsibility of piloting the Gundams against Earth's forces. I think we all believed we would either die fighting or answer for what we'd done. Well, we all survived, somehow." He left the rest of his thought trail behind him as he walked away, leaving Wufei to stare after him.

TBC


	3. Ends 3

The End's Beginning

By: Dyna Dee

Part 3

Warning: angst

As predicted, the next morning Wufei carried a fully clothed, hand and foot bandaged Duo down the stairs to the game room where the others were seated and waiting to be called for breakfast. He was appropriately contrite and repentant as he sat in a chair with his head bowed over his folded, bandaged hands and humbly apologized to Quatre for wrecking the bedroom and then to everyone for his loss of control, and then covered all the bases when he apologized to whoever ended up cleaning the mess that was his room. After letting him sit for several moments in silence, nervously waiting for their response, Heero demanded and then extracted a promise from him that such behavior would not happen again and that from that time on, he would be rooming with either himself or Wufei.

Apologies over, Sally entered the room with two men in dark suits in tow. She introduced them as Doctors Steinman and Hennessy, their assigned psychologists.

It was a full week after those formal and uncomfortable introductions were made that the pilots, still under house arrest, sat once again in the same room and received the oral report of the results of their physical and psychological testing by Sally and the two psychiatrists.

Sally began with the report on Quatre, who was recovering nicely from the sword wound to his side, yet showed signs of anemia and was deemed by the psychologists as being slightly depressed and suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome caused by his father's death, his sister's injuries, and his episode in Wing Zero under the Zero system.

Trowa and Wufei were diagnosed in a similar manner. Post traumatic stress syndrome with signs of depression seemed to be a mutual problem for all the young soldiers having endured so much at such a young age, though their physical health seemed to fair a bit better than Duo and Quatre's.

Heero was labeled as paranoid, with control issues and emotionally challenged. His health was good considering the injuries he'd sustained in the war. 

Lastly, Duo was diagnosed as suffering from anemia, malnutrition, and manic depression that had been slowly progressing and becoming increasingly evident with his busts of anger and violence. The four other pilots were handed booklets describing the various forms of depression and the possible treatment of it, and they covertly looked at their braided friend and nodded their heads in agreement. The mood swings from being in a very good, uplifting frame of mind for a period of time to a dramatic decline into short periods of despondency now made sense as did his tantrum the week before.

Sally looked at the five sitting quietly before her as she continued. "There seems to be a common element of malnutrition and stress to your bones, but more important, we found traces of an unknown but identical chemical in Duo, Wufei, Heero, and Quatre's blood stream," she reported.

Much to the surprise of the others, Heero spoke up, offering an explanation of the unknown chemical. "We all received a medication developed by Dr. J. as we trained to pilot the Gundams," he began. "He developed a long term medication designed to strengthen our immune systems, bones, and muscles. The only negative side effect of this treatment was the stunting of our physical growth. Trowa didn't train to fly Heavyarms, so he wasn't given the drugs, thus his normal height."

The statement delivered in a clinical tone by their fellow pilot took a couple of moments to set in. When the initial shock wore off, Duo, whose aching feet made it impossible to stand up, collapsed down onto the floor, landing on his knees, his hands clutched at the hair on his head and he moaned, "A midget forever." His voice came out sounding miserable. "If they weren't already dead, I'd kill those blights on humanity."

"You're not a midget, baka." Heero snorted at his friend's exaggerated reaction. "Just vertically challenged." No one seemed to appreciate his attempt at humor as they all glared at him, so he continued. "The injection was designed to have a short-term effect. The substance that enhanced our bodies will dissipate and we'll start growing normally around the age of sixteen or seventeen, depending on each of our individual body's natural genetic design."

With an unspoken understanding, Wufei and Heero moved together their kneeling and un-consoled friend, and by grabbing him under his arms they lifted Duo's non-responsive, dead-weight body from off the carpeted floor and put him back into his chair. He promptly slumped forward, putting his elbows on his knees and burying his head in his hands, looking the picture of being miserable.

They all listened pensively as the two doctors took turns describing treatment and medications they would be prescribing to each of the pilots over the next few weeks, based on their individual diagnosis. 

An hour after they had arrived, Sally led the satisfied doctors to the door. In doing so she discovered Relena and Lady Une had arrived as scheduled and they were admitted immediately to the room where the pilots sat in an unaccustomed, brooding silence.

Lady Une stood before them with Relena at her side as she announced that a decision had been made regarding their futures. The intern-government voted to keep the pilots' identities classified, as well as their ages and the colonies they from which they hailed. They were to be quietly pardoned from their war crimes, their reward for saving the Earth, with no great fanfare or celebration in fear of the backlash the new government would receive from those people hurt by the result of battles and loss of life attributed to the gundams. 

All five heads raised with a look of hope at the news, and Lady Une continued saying that the government wasn't comfortable in letting the five dangerous boys free without some observation and supervision. Therefore, they were to be sent to school, under close surveillance, in order to finish their educations and, in blending with other teens their age under normal circumstances and in a controlled social setting, they could prove to the new government that they could successfully adjust to society's norms, leaving the life of violence they had know behind. A full scholarship to a private school and then college would be offered any of them wishing to continue their education. Then, the bomb hit. 

"Miss Relena has generously offered all of you placement at the Sanq Academy of Higher Learning." She turned to look proudly upon the young woman smiling demurely beside her.

There was only about five seconds of silence as the words sunk in. Then came the eruption. "NO WAY!" Duo shouted, causing every one to jump slightly with the abrupt explosion. He exploded out of his seat, momentarily forgetting his wounded feet. "Ahh!" he cried out and fell back into his chair and lifted his bandaged, stockinged feet to cradle them in his hands.

"What's the matter?" Heero stood up from his chair and moved to Duo's side and looked with concern at his friend, baffled by his response. "I've attended the school and it's an acceptable institution for learning."

Duo shook his head adamantly and wore a frown as he studied his aching feet. They had been healing nicely, but that sudden move brought back unwanted pain. He then looked up to address Heero's statement, an incredulous, stubborn look on his face. "There's no way in hell I'm gonna wear those organ monkey costumes they call a uniform at that school. No way, no how, uh-uh, not me buddy. Count me out, take a rain check..."

"Enough, Duo," Wufei interrupted. "We get the point."

Duo scowled and turned his attention back to his sore feet while the others in the room were keenly aware of the hurt that was evident on Relena's face at his words.

"They really weren't all that bad," Quatre said quietly, knowing the others knew he was lying through his teeth in order to spare the girl's feelings. He'd shown them a school picture of himself and Heero in the "costume" and they'd laughed themselves sick at the style and colors, obviously designed with an eighteenth century romance novel in mind, and probably by a young girl or an old woman.

"If the majority of us vote to attend there," Heero spoke up in a firm voice as he looked down on his friend, "you will go." He reached a hand out to clasp the braided boy's shoulder, which the American promptly took exception to and knocked it off. 

"Don't try to strong arm me, Heero." He glared up at the Japanese boy's unflinching stare. "I said I won't dress up like a clown boy everyday and I meant it," he responded stubbornly and added with defiance, "And you can't make me!"

The others held their breath; a line had been drawn between the two friends. Lady Une moved to speak, but with a sharp look from Quatre, she withheld her comment.

Finally, it was Duo who backed down from the standoff. His shoulders slumped marginally and his eyes dropped away from Heero's. He stole a quick glance at the others present, and only then did he noticed the look of hurt on Relena's face. 

"Oh damn." He drew his bandage hand up and through his long bangs. "I'm sorry, Relena. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I..." he looked with appeal at each of the room's occupants for understanding as he spoke. "I honestly can't live in an uppity school in that formal type of clothing. I'm a street kid," he explained with a slight shrug. "I'd be like a common gold fish living in tap water trying to survive in a tank of exotic, tropical saltwater fish." He shook his head as his eyes and head lowered in embarrassment, and in a quiet, apologetic voice added. "I'm sorry, I just can't do that."

There were a few silent, awkward moments before they were all startled when Wufei stepped forward. "I can't either, though I thank you for your generous offer, Relena." He made a slight bow to the solemn looking girl.

"Me either." Trowa stood and moved to stand by Duo's chair. "I'm like Duo," he explained. He then looked down and smiled slightly at the braided boy as his eyes lifted up to meet his. "We're anything but genteel, aren't we Duo?"

Duo smiled back with a look of gratitude for his friends' understanding. "Maybe...," Duo spoke again, though his voice reflected his uncertainly as he looked up through his long bangs to Heero who still stood close by. "Maybe you and Quatre can go there and we can go to school somewhere else nearby. I know you probably want to be closer to get the best education you can," his eyes shifted nervously to Relena, guessing that would be the real reason Heero would choose to go to the Sanq school, then turned them back to Heero and continued. "And I don't want to be the one to stop you. We can still get together on the weekends.....that is, if you still want to."

This time it was Heero's face that softened. Though Duo hid it well from the others, his closest friend saw the look of pain and apprehension that was reflected in his expressive eyes. He was afraid his best friend was abandoning him, just when he needed him the most. 

"No Duo," he answered in a tone of understanding. "I told you long ago that if I survived the war that I'd be your back up." Duo's watery smile showed his relief at his decision, and that Heero had remembered their mutual promise. Heero then looked up to Lady Une. "Is it possible to choose a learning institution with less rigid standards for dress and conduct?" he asked.

"I'll look into it." She gave a slight but warm smile at the loyalty the boys displayed for each other. They would probably need it in the months to come as they tried to assimilate back into civilian life.

Heero let the memory of that day go as he rubbed the back of his stiff neck, remembering that it was five days after that interview that the gundam pilots found themselves being settled in the second largest city in the Sanq Kingdom, forty minutes by car or bus from the small country's capital. The five were put into the school's dorms with instructions that they were not to leave the school grounds without permission. They were also informed that several plain-clothes soldiers, referred to by Une as "Protectors" would act as bodyguards, chauffeurs, and official witnesses to the pilots' behavior, good or bad. The five teens referred to them as watch dogs.

All of them bristled at the idea of being under constant surveillance, and four of them became worried as they saw an evil twinkle in Duo's eyes and a small, cunning smile form. Without knowing, the new government had just given the rebellious boy from L-2 a challenge....to sneak out under their noses as often as possible without getting caught.

That was hours before the school nurse called Duo into the office and handed him the first pill that the kind and well-meaning Dr. Hennessy had prescribed.

The weeks following had been an emotional roller coaster ride for all of them. Weekly visits to the psychiatrist usually left each of them unsettled and three of them received daily medications from the school nurse, who reported back to Une whether or not the pills were taken.

Heero sighed deeply, something he had done a lot of lately. His memory brought him to the present, and his legs silently turned his chair so his eyes could focus on the sleeping teen on the bed, pillow still resting over the top of his head. 

Duo. He shook his head in worry as he observed the slight, nearly sixteen year old who had overcome so much in his life, accomplished great feats in his gundam, only to be laid low by a prescribed drug.

During the two months they had been at this school, the doctors had tried four different kinds of medications on him for his manic depression. The American had always been sensitive to chemicals in his body, and the prescribed drugs proved to be no different. At first, he was so dazed that he slept sixteen to eighteen hours a day, and then performed like a zombie when he was awake. He was definitely controllable, his emotional swings nil under the drugs influence, but he wasn't the boy they needed or knew.

New prescriptions were tried; one making him hyper, another emotional, and the latest left him irritable and nauseous. He was hard to be around and was losing weight that he couldn't afford to lose.

The former Wing Zero pilot let his head fall back to rest against the top of his chair. He was tired. Worry for his friend, their futures, the other pilots, school, and making some time to get to know Relena had kept him feeling drained. He lacked sleep because of his constant worry and he was sure what his unrelenting upset and burning stomach was telling him was that an ulcer was forming. Sometimes he thought war had been easier to deal with than the complexities of a normal and everyday life.

Because he had a hard time trusting and talking openly to Dr. Steinman, the doctor had encouraged him to find someone, a friend or teacher, that he could talk to, to share with them his fears, concerns and feelings. He turned his head to look at the braided teen's prone body. Duo had always been the one he opened up to, but the American was fighting his own battles and didn't need his worries added to what he was already dealing with.

His stomach began to burn again, and coming to a decision, the Japanese boy stood and silently left the room so as to not disturb the slumberer. He made his way down the hall to the public pay phone. Fishing into the pocket of his jeans, he pulled out several coins and picked up the receiver. Plunking in the appropriate amount, he punched in the numbers he'd easily memorized.

"Heero Yuy calling for Relena Peacecraft," he said to the person who answered on the other end. After several moments, his face softened slightly and he leaned against the wall. "Hello." He answered the greeting on the other side of the phone line quietly so that others in their rooms couldn't hear his voice carry. "Got a minute to talk?"

  
  


End

  
  


Next, Shinigami Rises

  
  
  
  
  
  



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